KINGDOM HEARTS AND FINAL FANTASYVII RANDOMNESS
by mickydolenzanunexpectedjourney
Summary: I changed the title yes. I came up with a few new ideas.Yea...This is going to be another funny story of randomness. COMPLETE
1. Koolaide,Santa and barbie porno

Kingdom Hearts randomess.

Me: Okay….my heart was broken horribly today. SO…I have come up with this to make me feel better. Its very random.

Sora: LIKE ME!

Me:…riiiight….

Sora: Whats that supposed to mean?

Me: Shut it.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KH OR ANY SHOW MENTIONED IN THIS FIC! GOT IT MEMORIZED?

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Par.1…Defeating The MCP

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MCP: BLAH BLAH BLAH OBAY ME…

Tron: Not on your wife

Sark: WOO I'M A DUDE!

Sora: The MCP LOOKS LIKE DA KOOL-AID MAN!

MCP: DOES NOT COMPUTE!-blows self up-

Sora:….well that was easy….

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Par.2…meeting Santa Claus…

Sora: We get to see Santa Claus?

Jack: Yup. I'm good friends with Sandy Claus…

Sora: SWEETNESS!

After arriving…

Sora:-jumps on Santa's Lap- I want a Malibu Barbie, a Malibu car and a Malibu doll house

Santa: …. Riiiight…

Donald, Goofy and Jack: -stunned-

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Par. 3…Meeting up with Leon

Leon:Start righting the stuff down. I'll be right back

Sora:… -big grin-

Donald: Sora…what are you doing…

Sora: -gets on a Barbie porn site-

Leon: SORA!

Sora: What?

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Me: Those are only a few of the short stories. And about that Kool-Aid thing, My friend Felicia thought of that when I was beating him.

Sora: yes…you also changed the words to "I believe I can fly" To "Sora and Sephiroth Believe they can fly"…

Me: Well…when you put three hyper girls in a house together that's what you get. Oh and a little question for you all. Me and my brother wrote something called "The Sephiroth Chronicles" If you would like to read those, tell me if you want me to post them. They are quite funny and I think you all would like them.

Sora: R&R please.


	2. Party,Yourworstnightmere and sephy

Ch.2

Me: yay! I actually got people to review this ficcy! Yayness! Okay I won't keep you waiting so here is the next chapter of kingdom hearts…RANDOMNESS!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANYTHING IN THIS FIC! HOWEVER, I DO OWN HIGHWIND CHUCK!

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Defeating Xemnas

Sora: Theres more to a heart than just anger or hate. Its full of a kinds of feelings!

Roxas: -comes out of sora- YEA! LIKE WANTING TO…PARTAY!

Sora: Let's show him how we do it!

Sora and roxas:-bring Xemnas out partying-

Three hours later….

Sora: Whoa…What a party

Xemnas: Wow…I am so wasted

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Sora shows up in traverse town

Sora:-wakes up- dude….where am I?

Cheer bear: Your in a place where all your dreams come true!

Sora: AAAHHH! CARE BEAR-kills cheer bear with keyblade-phew

Leon: So it chose you..

Sora: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

Leon: Your worst nightmare-shoots sora with gunblade-

Sora: Ow…-faints-

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Seeing Riku for first time

Sora: Riku? I looked every where for you

Riku: I didn't wanna be found looking like a retard…

Xemnas: I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RETARD!

Riku: Shut up Mansex

Xemnas: WHY YOU!

Both: -fight-

Sora: ….

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Meeting Sephiroth

Sephiroth: What is Cloud doing?

Sora: Leon

Sephiroth: … O.O

Sora: Or wait…standing at some place in town…

Sephiroth:-still traumatized by Cloud doing Leon-

Sora:-ties Sephiroth up and puts in on railroad track-

Sephiroth:-gets hit by train-

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Me: Theres the secong chapter. I also need some new ideas for the first kingdom hearts. So please leave some ideas…I will try and put them in

Sora: Yea! We love ideas

Riku: I don't!

Me: Shut up sexy

Riku: …..R&R please…


	3. THE RANDOMNESST CHAPTER!

Ch.3. IDEAS

Me: Sorry it been so long since my last update! I've been at my dad's and we usually do lots of stuffs during the week so yea…

Sora: Does this mean your updating now?

Me: Uh….yea…and I want to point out that with school starting, I'm not going to be around much. I'm a freshman this year.

Sora: HAHA!

Me:hits him on the head okay. I know present you with more Kingdom Hearts randomness.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANY IDEAS IN THIS CHAPTER! HERE ARE THE REVIEWERS THAT GAVE ME THSES IDEAS!

LanceTree

Rikuluvr

Tornack

ALL YOUR IDEAS WILL POP UP AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER!

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Sora finds kairi for the first time

Sora: Kairi?

Kairi: I am just a figment of your imagaination….wooooooo ooga booga

Sora: Man…I shouldn't have drank those 30 bottles of cherry vodka…

Kairi: -slaps Sora- AND YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE CLEAN!-disappears-

Sora: Whoa…

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Sora Finds Kairi again (Takes place in Hallow bastion)

Sora: KAIRI!-runs over to her- KAIRI….KAIRI..OPEN YOUR BEAUTIFUL BROWN I MEAN BLUE EYES!

Riku: Its no use…that girl cannot wake up. She has lost her heart.

Sora: You…your not Riku…TELL ME WHO YOUR ARE!

Riku: I AM YOUR FATHER!

Sora: NNNNNOOOOO!

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Kairi Meets Axel…

Kairi-staring at the water-

Axel: -shows up looking at paper- IS THIS WHERE KAIRI LIVES? I'M LOOKING FOR A KAIRI I CAN'T FIND HER LAST NAME!

Kairi: Uhh…I'm right here..

Axel: OKAY-holds out hand- COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

-Black Portal thingy shows up-

Kairi: IN YOUR DREAMS YOU PYRO FREAK!

Axel: -runs away crying-

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-Roxas talks to kairi-

Roxas: -you…your that girl he likes-

Kairi: Who?

Roxas: that boy…

Kairi: What boy?

Roxas: Hi I'm Roxas

Kairi: What?

Roxas: What kind of underpants are you wearing?

Kairi: WHAT!

Roxas: Are you hot?

Kairi: STOP IT!

Roxas: I'm not wearing any underpants.

Kairi: THAT'S IT! I AM WAKING UP!

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Riku meeting Maleficent for the first time…

Riku:-sitting in darkness-

Maleficent: Hello handsome

Riku : What?

Maleficent: -hits a megaphone- IS THIS THING EVEN ON? I SAID..HELLO HANDSOME!

Riku: Great…some perverted old hag is now coming to torment me…

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Sora: I guess I have something you could never imitate too…

Riku: what?

Sora: -is dressed in a pink dress and the darkness suddenly turns into a stage with hearts all over it and Cloud is dressed in a tux- I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN THE BARBIE WORLD! LIFE'S FANTASTIC! I'M MADE OF PLASTIC! YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE IMAGINATION LIFE IS YOUR CREATION

Cloud: C'mon Barbie lets go party

Sora: AH AH AH Yea

Cloud: C'mon Barbie lets go party

Sora: OH Oh.OH KEN I'm HAVING SO MUCH FUN!

Cloud: Well the parties just getting started

Sora: OH I LOVE YOU KEN!

Both:-kiss-

Riku:-in shock-

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Me: Well theres the third chapter. The next one is going to be a musical!

Cloud:…Oh no..

Me: Yup. Everyone is going to sing songs!

Sora: R&R PLEASE!


	4. Par1 of musical and phone calls

Ch.4 THE MUSICAL AND MORE RANDOMNESS

Me: I HAVE NOT DIED! I'VE BEEN REAL BUSY WITH SCHOOL!

Cloud: Of course you have. Its more important then your reviewers.

Me:-gasp- HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT STRIFE! DO YOU WANT THE SEPHY TREATMENT?-Opens closet revealing Sephy tied up-

Cloud: NNNOOO! EVIL!

Me: Exactly…..now, we must move on with this fic.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY SONG, TV-MOVIE QUOTE OR ANY FFVII AND KH CHARACTERS!

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Cloud: Ah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book.' 100 ways to defeat Sephiroth and all slivery white haired guys.' No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?

Zack: Hi Cloud!

Cloud: -face falls- Hi Zack

Zack: Cloud, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to mr,-

Cloud: That's very intresting

Zack: Mmm-hmm. He was bein reeal friendly. And heh, I think he was comin on to me, I think he might have though I was GAY..

Cloud: Ahem, so why are you telling me this hmm? Why should I care? I don't care, what'd you have for lunch today?

Zack: Well you don't have to get all defensive about it

Cloud: I AM NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE….Why should I care about some gay guy you met okay I am trying to read…

Zack: Well I didn't mean anything by it I just think its something we should be able to talk about.

Cloud: Well I do not want to talk about it Zack this conversation is over

Zack: Yea but Cloud-

Cloud: OVER

Zack: okay…but just so you know, If you were gay…That'd be okay….I mean cuz hey, Ha, I'd like you anyway

Cloud:-rolls eyes- Urgh

Zack: Because you see, if it were me I would feel free to say that I was gay, but I'm not gay

Cloud: Zack please, am trying to read

Zack: -smiles-

Cloud: WHAT?

Zack: If you were queer

Cloud: Urgh Zack..

Zack: I'd still be here

Cloud: Zack I am trying to read this book

Zack: Year after year

Cloud: Zack

Zack: because your dear to me-goes up and hugs Cloud-

Cloud: -jumps- ARGHH!

Zack: And I know that you, would accept me to,

Cloud: I would?

Zack: If I told you today, HEY GUESS WHAT I'M GAY! But I'm not gay, I'm happy just being with you

Cloud: Kadaj bought the shoes, pal Reno

Zack: So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys!

Cloud: Zack that is wrong!

Zack: NO ITS NOT!-starts kicking- If you were gay, I'd shout HURRAY

Cloud: Urghhhh I AM NOT LISTENING

Zack: And here I'd stay

Cloud: LALALALA-starts running away-

Zack: But I wouldn't get in your way-blocks Cloud-

Cloud: -jumps back- AHHH

Zack: You could count on me, to always be beside you everyday, to tell you its okay and as they say, ITS IN YOUR DNA YOUR GAY!

Cloud: I AM NOT GAY!

Zack: If you were gay

Cloud: -tackles Zack- AHHH

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Back to randomness…..

-Phone rings-

Tifa: -answers- Hello? Strife delivering service

Guy: Uh yes Is Cloud there?

Tifa: No Who's calling please

Guy: Yea….Cloud Kinda left his purse here

Xemnas:-pops outta nowhere- THAT'S NOT MANLY ENOUGH!-disappears-

Guy: Who was that?

Tifa: No clue….um….Cloud doesn't carry a purse….

Guy: Are you sure? Is his name, Cloud Strife?

Tifa: Yea but I never saw him with a purse

Guy: Well could you tell him to come pick it up?

Tifa: Yes-hangs up-

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Me: I'm sorry that there was only two things in this chapter but It's a two part thing so next chapter will make up for it I hope.

Cloud:-eye twitching- I DO NOT HAVE A PURSE

Zack: Oh come on Cloud, you don't have to hide it anymore

Cloud:-eye twitches some more-

Xemnas: THAT'S NOT MANLY ENOUGH!

Me: Yea…okay…R&R and tell me if you go to youtube. Lisa I know you do already. But I have important message for all you guys who go on there. Tell me and I will reply back to you.


	5. Drugs, underpants and attack of the

OH NO! MORE RANDOMNESS?

Me: I haven't died! School started and I've been planning for homecoming!

Cloud: aww….I was hoping differently.

Me: SHUT UP YOU DUMMY!

Cloud: COME OVER HERE AND MAKE ME! –takes out sword-

Me: -takes out balloon- I SHALL KILL YOU!

Cloud: ….

Me: WHAT?

Cloud: START WRITING!

Me: FINE!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY SONG OR QUOTE OR CHARACTER MENTIONED IN THIS FICCY DAMMIT!

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Cloud: -riding his motorcycle- Ah…nothing could go better on this day. The desert is freakin hotter then hell….I'm wearing black….I MUST BE A BUTTERFLY!-cell phone rings- What?

Barret: Did you deliver the package?

Cloud: What one?

Barret: The only one I gave you….

Cloud: I had two…One was filled with….oh…shit….

Barret: Cloud….did you start again?

Cloud: NOO! IT WAS ALL MOTHER'S FAULT!

Barret: Cloud….I'm telling Tifa…back to rehab for you

Cloud: NNNNOOOOOOO!

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This scene was not included in Kingdom Hearts but was thought up by my good friend Lisa. She will do this part so….yea

Lisa: Hey Sora…you want some sugar?

Sora: Yea! MELOVESUGAR!

Lisa: Okay, but the only thing is, you have to sniff it.-gives Sora 'sugar'-

Sora: whoa….that's good stuff

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Uh-oh….another musical? What is Roxas doing in front of that mirror….naked?

Roxas: THIS IS HOW I DANCE, AND I'M NOT WEARING UNDERPANTS! NOTHING I LIKE MORE TO DANCE AND I'M NOT GONNA WEAR NO UNDERPANTS YOU CAN'T MAKE ME-

Hayner: -walks in- OO akward…-backs away slowly

Roxas: uh….I can explain

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THIS WAS TAKEN FROM FFVII THE LAST ORDER….WHICH MEANS…..ZACK!-squeals-

Sephiroth: Mother! Together you and I will take back this planet

Zack: Wow….you really care for your mommy don't you momma's boy?

Sephiroth: Yes….I do…thank you very much…

Zack: I feel bad for you dude…you still in diapers?

Sephiroth: Yes….

Zack: Wow….you are by far the worst general I have ever heard of

Sephiroth: But You have heard of me

Zack: Well yea…but Cloud thought you were some amazing dude and so did I….

Sephiroth: Yea well…I joined the darkside cuz they had cookies.

Zack: Cookies?

Sephiroth: Yup…

Cloud: -comes running through but trips and falls into lifestream- AAHHHHHHH I'M COMIN TO JOIN YA MOD!

Zack: OH MY GOD! CLOUD! MY LOVE!-jumps in after him-

Sephiroth: yes well…..VICTORY IS MINE!-walks away with Jenova's head

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Me: Yea I know it was short but I didn't have a lot of time on my hands. How about some ideas? I'm always open and so is my email. I check it as often as possible. Oh, and if you ever want to talk to me, check my profile for animetribe. My username is Aerith. And I hope we learned that Drugs are bad mmmkay? Oh and someone wanted to say something…

Matt Damon: MATT DAMON!

Me: Yes well…R&R and leave ideas.


	6. Sora wants milk and Cloud is to emo?

Ch.6

Me: yay!! I'm back!!

Cloud: hurray!!

Me: Yuppers!!-huggles self- I'm so proud of myself!! Oh!! And Nexlei!! Yes I did change my name. Notice its Riku and Zack's kitty now. Now, I have come up with some new ideas AND will be doing the internet is for porn in the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it and for those of you who have also read my Know Your Stars fic, I am currently brainstorming for that one. I know its been at least a month since I updated but I have been thinking of other things to write. Now before I bore you to death, I'll start the ficcy so we can have more random fun!!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FFVII, KH OR ANY SONG OR QUOTE IN THIS FICCY!!! I AM SOOOOO SORRY!!

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Sora see's Cloud at the Radient Garden….

Sora Donald and Goofy" –walking by Scrooge-

Sora: -sees Cloud- Cloud!!

Cloud: -looks up- What?

Sora: You look so sexy!!

Donald: He does look different

Cloud: Its because of him….

Cloud: Who?

Cloud: No one for you to know about…

Goofy: Why are you in a cow costume??

Cloud: Shut up…..

Sora: LET ME DRINK YOUR MILK!!

Cloud: NO!!

Aerith: Whats going on…Cloud

Cloud: These freaks just showed up and are asking me all these weird things!!!

Sora: -has a glass- I just want some milk

Sephiroth: -floats down-

Sora: A BUTTERFLY!!

Cloud: Kill me….

Sephiroth: Not yet….-eats popcorn and watches Sora try and catch Cloud-

Both: -Collapse-

Sora: Truce!! I call truce!!

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Cloud the Emo

Tifa: -walks into room- guys….I called you here today to discuss Cloud.

Yuffie: What about him??

Tifa: Well…haven't you noticed that he seems….kind of depressed since Aeris died??

Barret: The Damn Fool. He so sad all the time.

Tifa: that's the thing. I think he's a little to emo….

Yuffie: Yuffie the material stealing bitch agrees!! I've seen his wrists!! Yea I sneak in his room at night and I saw his wrists!!

Tifa: Uhhh…..okay…so you've seen his wrists too….

Cloud: -walks in- sup' guys….

Tifa: Cloud…we need to have a special talk.

Yuffie: What? I thought we were gonna- -Cid covers her mouth-

Cid: Keep yer damn mouth shut.

Tifa: Cloud…we think you're a little to emo for yourself.

Cloud: So? Whats wrong with that?

Tifa: A lot. Now, we have a plan to help you….

Weird Narrator dude: What is Tifa's plan?? Did Sora ever get his milk? Why is the sky blue?? Find out next time in….THE RANDOMNESS FIC!!

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Me: Yea. I decied to leave a slight cliffy there for ya. Now, I know some of my readers have been reading 'Know Your stars'. I haven't forgotten about it. I have to repeat some of the people until I can think of stuff for the people I Haven't done. Anyhow, I'm determined to get as much updating as possible done during this weekend. I still would like some ideas requested for any of my fics including this one. So please don't be afraid to leave an idea. It will be used.

Cloud: Don't give her any ideas with me. I'm going through enough torture already.

Me: Oh shut it. R&R no flames and LEAVE IDEAS FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY!!


	7. The most randomness chapter ever

Okay!! Here is a long awaited update!! Now, before I begin, this will not be a continuation of Cloud's to Emo. That will be continued later since I am sadly still thinking for ideas for it. So please, if you have an idea for the whole emo thing, please leave it in a review. This chapter is probably my favorite. Oh!! And there is yaoi in here.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KH OR FFVII OR ANYTHING USED IN THIS FIC EXCEPT THE…..SPECIAL PERSON IN THIS CHAPTER!!

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Worst thing to happen ever…

-Sora walks into baily to discover a young, thin, naked girl with cuts, scars and bruises on her body. She has long flowing sliverish, lavender hair and when she opens her eyes they are a piercing green slits. A mark in the shape of a wing is engraved in her back-

Sora: Oh my god!! –runs to her- Miss, are you okay

Girl: -looks up at Sora- I'm fine. I just escaped Shinra. They were running experiments on me.

Sora: Shinra?

Girl: It's a company that supplies power and stuff. I was created in a lab as a part of the great Sephiroth. My name is Mary Sue

Sora: Nice to meet you Mary!! I'm Sora!! Come on, I'll bring you back to my friends.

-They walk back to Merlin's and everyone gasps when they see the naked girl. Leon gives her clothes and they talk-

Mary: And I also hold power almost as great as General Sephiroth's.

Cloud: -bursts in with Sephiroth and chops of Mary's head- That's the 25th Mary Sue we've had to kill all week!! What is with that?

Sephiroth: I dunno…but your fighting makes me super horny…

Everyone: uuuh…Sephiroth…that's creepy

Cloud: I'm sorry. I could never love my enemy. I love Cid

FREEZE!! CRACK PAIRING ALERT!! CRACK PAIRING ALERT!!

Crack Pairing alert policeman: That is a violation of the yaoi code. You are not aloud to love old, pissed off pilots.

Cloud and Cid: …..

Cid: and why not?

Policeman: Its not very hot and I don't know anyone who likes your pairing. Most girls and guys like Cloud and Leon or Cloud and Sephiroth. Even Cloud and Riku dammit!! It's a violation and its gonna cost you about 500 munny.

Cid: Aw Dammit –gives officer money-

Policeman: Thank you. –disappears-

Mayor: I think that guy deserves a reward.

Cloud: I'm scared…..

Sora: I'm hungrey…

Leon: I'm sexy

Aeris: I think I'm going to start dinner…

Sephiroth: I'm horny…

Tbc?

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Okay, I think that was my most random chapter in this fic. Anyhow, I DON'T think CloudXCid is hot but any other mention I do. And then those god damn Mary Sue's. I hate them with a passion. Oh yea, and when I mentioned guys for the yaoi part? I have nothing against them. I accept anyone for who they are. So I don't want any flames about it got it? Now R&R and maybe I'll update again okays?


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